"However," explains Eve, "Real loaned him straight back to Brazil, which was the start of a footballing odyssey. "The Dream Team of John Barnes and Kenny Dalglish saw fit to sign a player who they had only ever seen on video, presumably swayed by his two caps for Brazil (allegedly the result of a widespread racket involving agents bribing corrupt Brazilian FA officials to cap their clients in meaningless internationals in order to inflate their market value and secure a lucrative move to Europe - it clearly worked)."īut the winner - as far as we know - is Rodrigo Fabri, who according to Daniel Eve was sold by Portuguesa in Brazil to Real Madrid around 1998 for roughly £8m. "One unnamed Celtic first-teamer said at the time that 'he couldn't trap a bag of cement'," he seethes. Remember Rafael Scheidt, the Brazilian defender who moved from Gremio Porto Alegre to Celtic for £4.8m in December 1999? Ciaran Carey certainly does. Not even a friendly or reserve game in Sky Blue, let alone a first-team appearance." "He watched a friendly with his wife," says Tim Ward, "who allegedly told him he couldn't stay and was then sold less than two weeks later to Real Madrid for a tidy £750,000 profit. Moving up the evolutionary ladder we reach the Croatian defender Robert Jarni, who signed for Coventry for £4.5m in August 1998. Medina, incidentally, is now the proud owner of an Olympic gold medal. Now, strictly speaking, Medina played in an FA Cup third-round replay against Bolton in January 2003 but, as John Hudson points out, "both clubs had fielded weakened sides, viewing the Cup as less important than their ongoing relegation battles". "While £1.25m does not pay for a competent groundsman these days, the deal was the equivalent of Newcastle buying Wayne Rooney and then swapping him for Ruud van Nistelrooy without playing him."īoth John Hudson and Theodore Kamena mention the strange case of Nicolas Medina, who joined Sunderland from Aregntinos Juniors in June 2001 for £3.5m and has done very little since. "There were rumours at the time of a deal with Palace based on the premise that QPR would not sell him directly to Palace," reckons Howard Nurtman. One of the earliest known flops is Clive Allen, who joined Arsenal from QPR on Jfor £1.25m and left for Crystal Palace two months later for the same price - a fortune in those innocent days. "Who is the most expensive player to never make a first-team appearance for his club?" asks Antonia Fraser. They meekly suggest "Ludere causa ludendi," which means "to play for the sake of playing". But the prize for non-pretentiousness goes to Queens Park, who play at Hampden but are currently in the Scottish third division. Elgin City win the comedy rosette for their "Sic itur astra", meaning "Thus we reach the stars". North of the border, Kilmarnock have the monopoly on Latin in the Premierleague with their simple but classy "Confidemus", or "We trust". Gillingham claim to be the "domus clamantium", or "home of the shouting men". In the lower leagues, Sheffield Wednesday boast of "Consilio et anamis" - which means "intelligence and courage" - while Bristol City share their motto of "Vim promovet insitam" ("Promotes your inner power") with the city's university. Manchester City's motto is "Superbia in proelia," which as every Latin scholar knows means "Pride in battle," while Spurs rejoice in the SAS-like exhortation "Audere est facere," or "To dare is to do".
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